There are times in relationships when neither you or your partner seem to be speaking the same language. You may be disagreeing over the simplest of things or maybe it has got more serious and any dialogue becomes aggressive and nasty. It may be that neither feels that the other understands and you have reached a point where talking or rows have no resolution and you are going around in circles.
There may be issues over:-
You may have step-children and the situation has become difficult. There may be a new baby or teenagers or indeed a child with a disability and life in the family has become fraught and loaded. Understanding these issues from a different perspective with renewed consideration often eases what may seem as insurmountable problems.
The family of partners might be a reason for discord in your relationship for any number of reasons. Adjusting to a new set of values can seem daunting or just downright pointless. Thinking about and recognising the diversity of the family unit often creates the space that allows this difference to enhance and not necessarily detract from harmony.
So often money can become such a contentious issue with partners and may manifest in serious and unforeseen differences in approach. Diverse family values with regard to money and financial situations can often be an issue that couples had not foreseen. Recognition of this difference, negotiation and exploration of an often delicate topic assists couples to navigate their way to resolution and accord.
Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful will be devastating and couples react in many different ways. Some individuals will indeed want to end the relationship immediately. However as a result of working through their anguish, endeavouring to understand why it has happened and establishing ways to restore their connection, many couples have found their relationship can become even stronger and more honest than ever; reinstating the essential trust that had been lost.
In this age when we are living longer couples can often find themselves caring in one way or another for elderly dependents and this can sometimes put enormous strain on the relationship. Using the counselling space to acknowledge the difficulties, ascertain solutions and hear the other can often alleviate the tension this situations creates.
Sex can create harmony and beauty in a relationship or conversely discord and ugliness. I have seen couples where they
no longer feel connected and intimacy and affection has disappeared. This invariably leaves one or both feeling rejected, unloved and isolated which often leads to frustration, resentment and anger which can then in turn devastate a loving relationship.
Please take a look at my separate section on sex addiction and partner support which tells you how I can help with recovery
from sex addiction for the addict and/or recovery from the trauma for the partner.
Please take a look at my separate section on psychosexual therapy which informs you how I may help the many problems couples face.
Entering into couple counselling can be scary. As well as sharing your deepest thoughts and worries to a compassionate therapist, in the room there will be the person who will probably disagree with your views. Or indeed you may be feeling decidedly uneasy about possibly hurting your partners’ feelings about what you want to say. One of you may believe that couples therapy will not work for you or indeed that there is nothing wrong with your relationship. During a counselling session my clients each have my equal attention and consideration and are given a safe and secure environment in which to express the issues that have brought them to therapy. Both are given the chance to speak and be heard and the feelings and thoughts of each are treated with respect and empathy.
All couples disagree and argue - its absolutely normal. However the difference between those who can recover from those rows and those who can't is usually the way they are communicating. Over time this negative communication style can lead to the focus of your relationship changing from the love your partner once offered you to the problems your partner now creates.
I am a fully trained and qualified couples therapist with a Post Graduate Certificate in Couples Therapy and I know the difficulties couples face are many. Whatever difficulties you may be experiencing I can offer in my clinic in Hove or nationally/internationally online the help needed to unravel and unpick those relationship threads that have become tangled.
Contact me to arrange a confidential appointment