Partner of Sex Addict - Counselling/Support
The discovery of a sex addiction is not like the discovery of an affair and the betrayal devastates you in a way that most people simply cannot understand.
The secrecy and lies associated with a sexual addiction and the accompanying behaviours traumatises the partner and you often feel you can never trust that person you mistakenly thought you knew ever again. Will that person ever be trustworthy again? Will you ever recover from the sense of loss you feel for the relationship you thought you once had? Am I going mad? You may be frightened that to trust again and to forgive will open you up to vulnerability and to more hurt and will give permission for the partner to “act out” again.
With professional help the sex addict can get into recovery, the relationship can stabilise and trust can be restored. But the addict will, in all probability, be in recovery for the rest of their lives and you, the partner, needs to be able to manage this.
In my experience you need space and time to heal from the trauma of discovery and then more of the same to contemplate the future. Be that with the addict in recovery or without.
The voyage to recovery is a tough one and it is ultimately best undertaken with a professional sex addiction therapist who knows what the couple are going through. Some years ago I undertook extensive training to become a professional, qualified sex addiction therapist with the renowned Thaddeus Birchard who was the pioneer of Sex Addiction Therapy in this country and I am registered with ATSAC which is the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.
Together in a safe and non-judgemental atmosphere we can process those range of feelings that you are undoubtedly experiencing and normalise what you are going through. We can look at the practical steps that can be taken which enable you to take those tentative steps to move forward.
You may find it useful to think about this acronym:-
Surviving the trauma of discovery
Understanding the cycle of reaction
Repairing self-identity and self-esteem
Facing the future
Contact me to arrange a confidential appointment